SOLMI

Leo DiCaptain America.

I was just cruising through teh internets tonight after watching another disappointing episode of Heroes. I was thinking, “all this talk about human evolution and in two seasons of the show I have not seen anything making me say ‘bring it on, evolution’ .” Near as I can tell, as soon as you get powers as a direct result of evolution you either have some respiratory issues (like DL’s family) or you are completely gullible/self-centered (everyone on the show). My gullibility and self-centeredness are just fine at the moment thank you. I don’t need to leap another genetic hurtle there.

So, just as I was about to call fail on Darwin I came across an interesting article, which you may read here. To save you the time, the article not only says human beings are evolving but are evolving rapidly. Apparently there’s some genetic thing that proves this when you look at blah blah blah. That’s not the good stuff. The good stuff is that this article completely restores my faith in evolution. Go try your mousetrap arguments with someone else, Intelligent Designers!

You know why? I may have the retained power to digest milk on my side! That’s right, the current benefits of our Life-in-the-Fast-Lane Evolution include the astonishing ability to digest milk. Of course, that’s only if you’re Indo-European. Sorry guys, but that ChugALug milk is all mine! My genes call dibs!

So yeah, forget all of this evolution giving you the power of the the gods crap. Do you really want to swallow all of your kids for fear of dethronement? Or flood your entire creation because you can’t stand the tenants? Or take the form of a swan and force yourself on a woman? Actually, don’t answer that one…or any of them for that matter. What you need (and what you may get) is something ever the more practical. And who knows, in a few more generations, maybe humanity will evolve enough to be able to digest SOUR milk. And oh, what a day that will be.

I was reading through a notebook I kept in high school and college tonight. It seems I wrote a lot more then than I do now. That’s kind of a shame.

Anyhoo, I found two old “poems” that I figured I might as well put up here.

I wonder when I buy it
how will it be sold?
When the buckets’ kicked and the ticket punched
how will it be sold?
Maybe there’ll be a sale on drownings
but those things never fit me right.
(wrong color for the eyes)
Perhaps a gun-shot wound?
Nah-too modern, when I go
I want it with style that’s fairly retro.
Crucifixion’s a bit of overkill
I wouldn’t be able to cover the bill.
Stoned to death? Such a drab!
I’ll let someone else pick up that tab.

That’s about all I have for that. It went on a but further but it made even less sense than what I typed out already. So without further ado here’s the other one I found.

Today I saw a man turn green and huge and smash things uo.
I can relate.
The other day I read of a man, laughing up and burning;
another smearing butter on his face.
I think I can relate.

There’s seasons for all sorts.
A carousel, up and down, up and down.
This is one of the down days.

I once read of a man who wanted to be a crab.
I can relate to that.
And then, then there was once this lad, the formal coatsman
once blinded he gave up everything he had.
Not quite there- but I still relate to that.

You know how it’s supposed to go:
up and down, up and down
This is definitely one of those down days.

I learned of a man who taught relativity, had crazy hair.
I bet I can relate.
Then there was a guy-almost had his face chewed off by rats. Rats!
Perhaps, just perhaps, I can relate to that.

This guy got stabbed in the back!
Another, heart attack!

I’m drawing close to that.

So anyway there we go. I never claimed to be a poet but I thought these poems were entertaining nevertheless. Maybe if I find some more stuff I used to write I could post it up here. Until then, stay safe loyal SOLMI fans.