SOLMI

This doesn’t really have to do with SOLMI, but I thought maybe somebody would care anyway. The other day I gathered together some games that I haven’t played in a while (or ever). I wasn’t concerned with their resale value, so I brought them to GameStop; a place that notoriously low-balls customers on trade-in value. I thought I might get a discount on a new game by bringing them in, so I figured what-the-hey.

I’ve been wanting to play Rainbow Six Vegas for a while. Mostly for split-screen co-op. Brian and I had some good times playing Gears of War this way last year. So that’s what I traded my games for. A new copy of Rainbow Six Vegas. The GameStop employee behind the counter was surprisingly good-natured. Especially considering it was 20-minutes until closing. He talked to me about the game while inspecting my trade-in discs for scratches and instruction manuals. When he told me he could give me $20 for the games I was pleasantly surprised. I was expecting something closer to $5. This brought the cost of Rainbow Six down from $29 to just $11. Not bad.

They actually had a used copy for $27, but I’m not above spending $2 for a guaranteed-to-work, fresh out-of-the-box, “it still smells new” copy. He took care of the transaction, and I went home. When I got there I opened the game commenting to Meagan on how great my GameStop experience had been. Then I flipped over the game and saw a Rorschach-style maze of scratches covering roughly 120% of the surface area of the disc. And one big greasy thumb print.

Not very cool, GameStop. I’ve heard the horror stories about GameStop before. I’m sure most of us have. Employees taking games home, playing them, then selling them as new. Poor customer service, bad customer service, and terrible customer service. But who else buys back games? I couldn’t think of anybody in the Orlando area that would take these off my hands and still give me a discount on a new game, so I went for it. And I probably should have just accepted the consequences.

I considered it, actually. Not taking the game back, or trying to get an actual new copy. I thought that if the game didn’t work then it would just serve as a reminder for why I should never shop at GameStop again. I talked to Brian and Meagan about this and they both immediately told me that was completely insane. And that it comes from being raised Catholic. The whole flagellation thing.

So to avoid that and future emotional issues I decided to take the game back and see if I could get it exchanged for a new one. I actually talk to the same guy that sold me the game a few days ago. He seemed like a nice fellow, but I didn’t totally buy his nearly inaudible declaration of innocence, “Wha, how did that happen?!”.

I should also mention that I was unable to test the game in Brian’s Xbox 360 because it’s broken right now. Again. So he’s shipping it off to Microsoft for repairs. Again.

Don’t get me wrong, I think the 360 is a fantastic gaming and entertainment machine. But would it kill Microsoft to produce something of quality these days? Why is it that every 360 owner I’ve heard from or talked to has shipped in their console once, twice, four times? Why can’t these companies just get it together? How did this turn into a rant about Microsoft? Where is my shirt? Why am I crying?!? OH GOD. WHAT IS THIS FEELING?

I told Jason last week that I thought I’d try to develop some new rules for myself and writing for this site. Basically, I’d try to update about once a week, preferably on a Monday. That obviously didn’t happen. Also, I don’t really have any idea what to write about. Because of this I figured I’d just post the next episode in the ongoing adventures of Shane Bloomer. Enjoy.

SHANE BLOOMER’S EXISTENTIAL GUIDE TO NOTHINGNESS: PART FOUR OF AN EIGHT-PART SERIES

Shane Bloomer hated his own eyes. Now, he fully understood the usefulness of them, mind you. With his eyes he could see many a great thing. He saw four-door sedans, he saw girls. He always thanked his eyes for showing him these. Mostly, though, Shane Bloomer was not a big fan of having eyes. This was due to the fact that most of the time Shane Bloomer did not know what to do with them.  When in conversation, he recognized that it might be rude to not look someone in the face or to search elsewhere but he couldn’t figure out what else to do with them. Most of the things people said were wrong to Shane Bloomer but he did not have the heart to tell them so. So he averted his gaze and patiently waited for them to finish. Also, he heard that eyes were the windows to the soul. This did not sit well with Shane Bloomer. He did not want to look into the inner workings of others and he expected a return of the favor.

The narrator feels that the people would just see awkward behind Shane Bloomer’s eyes.

Shane Bloomer always tried to find a new hobby. He would walk into stores and examine many things available for purchase. He would take something like a model car off of the shelf, look at all sides of the box, then try to picture himself dedicated to the task of seeing a model car through to completion. He thought of the plastics, the glue, the paints. Shane Bloomer also imagined how this would make him appear to other people. Would they see him as someone with unique tastes, interested in creation of something otherwise meaningless? Would they see him as interesting? Would they see him as boring? Shane Bloomer would always decide to purchase the item.

Shane Bloomer had quite the collection of unfinished hobbies throughout his house.

He also had quite the collection of socks.

To the narrator, that is neither here nor there.

Shane Bloomer felt lonely sometimes. He considered getting friends but decided against it. He knew real friendships were like a two-way street. He had to offer something in return. Shane Bloomer, remembering this, would decide against getting any friends.

Sometimes Shane Bloomer would twirl his hair. He might also, on occasion, suck on his own tongue. Shane Bloomer had quite a number of long-standing habits.

Shane Bloomer loved the city. But even in his loving admiration of what the hands of men could do, Shane Bloomer always tried to keep a sense of disdain against all things modern. In this way he stayed neutral concerning the advancement of man. He was free to appreciate the works of humanity but also to criticize it. Shane Bloomer liked to have a lot of options available to him, as he hated to be stuck in one place. This included his own thoughts.

But the narrator knows Shane Bloomer tried not to think about this too much.

THIS CONCLUDES PART FOUR OF SHANE BLOOMER’S EXISTENTIAL GUIDE TO NOTHINGNESS.