SOLMI

I told Jason last week that I thought I’d try to develop some new rules for myself and writing for this site. Basically, I’d try to update about once a week, preferably on a Monday. That obviously didn’t happen. Also, I don’t really have any idea what to write about. Because of this I figured I’d just post the next episode in the ongoing adventures of Shane Bloomer. Enjoy.

SHANE BLOOMER’S EXISTENTIAL GUIDE TO NOTHINGNESS: PART FOUR OF AN EIGHT-PART SERIES

Shane Bloomer hated his own eyes. Now, he fully understood the usefulness of them, mind you. With his eyes he could see many a great thing. He saw four-door sedans, he saw girls. He always thanked his eyes for showing him these. Mostly, though, Shane Bloomer was not a big fan of having eyes. This was due to the fact that most of the time Shane Bloomer did not know what to do with them.  When in conversation, he recognized that it might be rude to not look someone in the face or to search elsewhere but he couldn’t figure out what else to do with them. Most of the things people said were wrong to Shane Bloomer but he did not have the heart to tell them so. So he averted his gaze and patiently waited for them to finish. Also, he heard that eyes were the windows to the soul. This did not sit well with Shane Bloomer. He did not want to look into the inner workings of others and he expected a return of the favor.

The narrator feels that the people would just see awkward behind Shane Bloomer’s eyes.

Shane Bloomer always tried to find a new hobby. He would walk into stores and examine many things available for purchase. He would take something like a model car off of the shelf, look at all sides of the box, then try to picture himself dedicated to the task of seeing a model car through to completion. He thought of the plastics, the glue, the paints. Shane Bloomer also imagined how this would make him appear to other people. Would they see him as someone with unique tastes, interested in creation of something otherwise meaningless? Would they see him as interesting? Would they see him as boring? Shane Bloomer would always decide to purchase the item.

Shane Bloomer had quite the collection of unfinished hobbies throughout his house.

He also had quite the collection of socks.

To the narrator, that is neither here nor there.

Shane Bloomer felt lonely sometimes. He considered getting friends but decided against it. He knew real friendships were like a two-way street. He had to offer something in return. Shane Bloomer, remembering this, would decide against getting any friends.

Sometimes Shane Bloomer would twirl his hair. He might also, on occasion, suck on his own tongue. Shane Bloomer had quite a number of long-standing habits.

Shane Bloomer loved the city. But even in his loving admiration of what the hands of men could do, Shane Bloomer always tried to keep a sense of disdain against all things modern. In this way he stayed neutral concerning the advancement of man. He was free to appreciate the works of humanity but also to criticize it. Shane Bloomer liked to have a lot of options available to him, as he hated to be stuck in one place. This included his own thoughts.

But the narrator knows Shane Bloomer tried not to think about this too much.

THIS CONCLUDES PART FOUR OF SHANE BLOOMER’S EXISTENTIAL GUIDE TO NOTHINGNESS.

A few months ago we entered Apple’s Insomnia Film Festival, a 24-hour race open to students across the country. Our entry was Superhero, written by Brian and starring himself, David Simpson, and Adam Viademonte. It’s quickly become our most popular show to date.

We first showed it publicly (that is, outside of the podcast) at February’s Film Slam here in Orlando. We ended up taking third place, which we were really excited about. Afterwards we were approached about entering our video into the Indie Film Jam, which is part of the Florida Music Festival. The Jam is more of a real film competition than the Film Slams, which are there to give an outlet for filmmakers in the area.

So as much fun as it is to enter the Film Slams, it’s going to be even more fun being in the Film Jam.

By entering the Film Jam, it looks like we’ll be eligible for a couple of awards. These include Best in Fest, Special Jury Award, and the Audience award. I’m sure there’s going to be some pretty stiff competition but it’s going to be a lot of fun going head to head with other filmmakers in the area. If you’d like to show us some support (and if you’re in the Orlando area) the festival is running between May 14th and 17th.

I’m sure we’ll have more specific information as the date approaches. We just wanted to give you guys a heads up and let you know how excited we are about this.

Young Gordon Leville has just taken a job as a watchman working the graveyard shift. An otherwise boring job turns into anything but as Gordon is quickly thrust into every adventure movie you’ve ever seen.

We shot this episode in one night from around 10pm to 5am in an office building we weren’t supposed to be in. This, of course, makes for the best shooting environment possible (not really). You should expect nothing less than the height of professionalism when working with the SOLMI crew.

Anyway, we were really excited to have Dave back working with us again. He did such an awesome job in Superhero we couldn’t help but bring him back. Brian and Dave have a presence together that transcends their brotherly bond. It’s magic. Pure and simple.

Writing credit goes to Brian, once again. That kid’s going places, let me tell you. Jason (that’s me) shot and edited. The fireball was Brian’s brainchild and carries with it that same professionalism I mentioned above. Again, only the best for SOLMI.

The title for this piece came from the deathwatch that a friend of ours placed on SOLMI. According to our pal Justin, SOLMI has been on deathwatch since January and if we hadn’t posted a new show by April 1st, we would be officially dead to him. So what did we do? We looked that challenge straight in the eye and said, “Listen, I’m going to cut you. And cut you deep.” That’s just how we roll.